Contempt #2

Contempt #1

In a previous post, I said : Passive acceptance of continuing and overt misogyny in society and culture. Whining that the girls aren't as nice to us now, after years of 'liberation' for which we did precious little. We men who enjoy our privilege and fail to join with our sisters feel their contempt and it makes us sad and uncomfortable. The cadres of men who belong in these categories have one more thing to understand.

Contempt #2

This is what it is to have another Subject in culture come into its own, alienated. This feeling that you are being seen, thought about, liked or not, that you might have a job to do and you don't know what it will take and that you are failing at it; this feeling is translated by most people as contempt. And, it is. 

The feeling aimed at you, Contempted Men, might have been exasperation or impatience or even sympathy and solidarity. But because you got through the first and second and third waves of feminism without ever seriously examining your own role, even your passive role, in the social hamstringing of women, well, because you did not get our backs, we find you lacking.

We published the books, we formed the organizations, we taught the classes, wrote the songs, made the movies -- and you didn't join in.

So, yeah, at this point, the fact that you still want us to gaze appreciatively at your oblivious ego is contemptible.

If you want to look at women, or at pop culture an not feel that contempt, then stop being a contemptible guy and you won't see the world that way and you won't feel so rejected. If the shoe does not fit, you can't wear it.


Learn, join, get your solidarity on, question your privilege.



Inside the feminist movement, we have these kinds of conversations between white women and our privilege and women of color. Feminists of color often look at white white feminists, who should be their allies, with contempt born of betrayal and impatience. We often don't think past our white middle class world, and given the books and classes and songs and movies women of color have produced to teach us about our blindness and our blithe innocence, they have every right to feel that contempt.

Grown ups don't complain that other people don't like them. They find out why other people don't like them, and do something about it. Get a conversation going between the Subjects in culture, and join us in our desire for a world made richer for all of us, and you will feel something new : that appreciative gaze you so want.